mixed thoughts on paper

The first time I met you
I remember your voice
I remember your name
Because I wrote it over and over until I got it straight
You talked to me
I ignored you
But in those moments my heart really flew

Years went by
We got older
You never noticed the feelings
I shouldered

The more I knew you the more I loved
The less time I had to shake it off and run

Unnoticed feelings
Unbelievingly
Then I was leaving

All those years
Then I left your side
I still remember
You never cried
You didn't care
Not even a bit
Not even when I cried for it

I was gone
Separated
It's gods way of telling me we werent fated

Now I sit here and sigh
About the guy
Who never cried
When I left from his side

A piece of soul was taken from me
Where it went
Is a mystery

And even though I wanted it bad
It would have been so much better if I never had.

Love is a beautiful thing that can change a person for the better or worse. Your first love will always be one to remember even if you don't want to...

My first experience with love was miserable and pitiful. I just hated how childish and stupid I was.

I fell for a player who pretty much played with my mind. I did stupid thing and yet I'm drawn to him. like a moth to flame.

Burn....

I'm always told I'm beautiful but I cant see why. I cant even capture his heart so what good is my looks? He would never look my way seriously or show me he needs me. not the way I need him...

He told me once that he loved me, he wanted to marry me and be together but now to me his words seem cold and 1 dimensional. I lost him.

Nobody wants me...

Then I danced to his fiddle, His flame not even a care in the world that I would be burnt. But would he do the same?

I felt alone...

What do I do when in his absence another tune starts to play around me everyday. Desperate to get my attention. trying to save me from 'Him'. But I don't even so much as lift a finger. I just stand there waiting for 'His' tune to play again. so I can dance once again and again...

I'll never learn until my legs break.unable to dance anymore. that same plays trying to get me to weaver. I don't. I keep dancing to 'His' tune until it stops completely and my body stops its dance.

I'm such an idiot...

'His' tune stops for seconds, minutes, hours then years. My body stuck unable to move an inch. I'm stuck in a sorry state with my ears perked and body trembling.

A new tune plays long and softly. I hear it and am reluctant to move but I do and I feel so light.

I stop dancing in realisation as I hear 'His' tune play in my head. but its not the same and I try to repeat the dance to it but cry out in frustration.

The same new tune plays again passionately. I slowly to dance along broken hearted.

'His' tune plays softly but I think its in my head until it gets louder and I quickly try to dance to it's beat with love but the song becomes colder to me as I go.

I start to see another girl dancing to the same rhythm as me but gracefully.

I copy along getting the notes and rhythm wrong. I start to break down. i tried my best.

I see him appear and take her hand in his then kissed it and began to dance with her. The he kept going switching to another and another girl. One after another.

Stupidity...

He finally lets go of the last girl and comes towards me.

He reached out his hand for mine. I cry as i reached out for his but he smiles and disappears from my very eyes again.

Leaving me to dance to his lost tune..

Unwanted....