Love is a beautiful thing that can change a person for the better or worse. Your first love will always be one to remember even if you don't want to...

My first experience with love was miserable and pitiful. I just hated how childish and stupid I was.

I fell for a player who pretty much played with my mind. I did stupid thing and yet I'm drawn to him. like a moth to flame.

Burn....

I'm always told I'm beautiful but I cant see why. I cant even capture his heart so what good is my looks? He would never look my way seriously or show me he needs me. not the way I need him...

He told me once that he loved me, he wanted to marry me and be together but now to me his words seem cold and 1 dimensional. I lost him.

Nobody wants me...

Then I danced to his fiddle, His flame not even a care in the world that I would be burnt. But would he do the same?

I felt alone...

What do I do when in his absence another tune starts to play around me everyday. Desperate to get my attention. trying to save me from 'Him'. But I don't even so much as lift a finger. I just stand there waiting for 'His' tune to play again. so I can dance once again and again...

I'll never learn until my legs break.unable to dance anymore. that same plays trying to get me to weaver. I don't. I keep dancing to 'His' tune until it stops completely and my body stops its dance.

I'm such an idiot...

'His' tune stops for seconds, minutes, hours then years. My body stuck unable to move an inch. I'm stuck in a sorry state with my ears perked and body trembling.

A new tune plays long and softly. I hear it and am reluctant to move but I do and I feel so light.

I stop dancing in realisation as I hear 'His' tune play in my head. but its not the same and I try to repeat the dance to it but cry out in frustration.

The same new tune plays again passionately. I slowly to dance along broken hearted.

'His' tune plays softly but I think its in my head until it gets louder and I quickly try to dance to it's beat with love but the song becomes colder to me as I go.

I start to see another girl dancing to the same rhythm as me but gracefully.

I copy along getting the notes and rhythm wrong. I start to break down. i tried my best.

I see him appear and take her hand in his then kissed it and began to dance with her. The he kept going switching to another and another girl. One after another.

Stupidity...

He finally lets go of the last girl and comes towards me.

He reached out his hand for mine. I cry as i reached out for his but he smiles and disappears from my very eyes again.

Leaving me to dance to his lost tune..

Unwanted....

 Contradictions:

There is nothing more that i hate than hypocrites (such as a certain person). He's always saying " Don't stray from the 'right' path and to always listen to his guidance. but i find it harder and harder to obey because he himself has stayed form the 'right' path and went 'left' (hypothetically). Why should i listen to someone who went all 'left' before i was even born? it makes no sense. He says all you need in life are he basics such as being polite, respectful, hard working, intelligent, etc...
he says if you see a good person applying to you with no education and is willing to learn and there is a person who likes to trick people but has all the education needed and more. he said a boss would pick the first person because they wouldn't betray him like the second. hes right but in the real world the person with the best education requirements always win. i not saying it's impossible but slim. i want to say something but i cant. he never lets me. or i don't let myself. all that comes out is "yeah you're right...". maybe me myself am a hypocrite.

Before Weak:

All the babies that i came across in my life have always brought joy to those who bore them and around them. but why does when baby appear who isn't born yet bring me so much sadness and pain? I shouldn't care. well... at least i thought i didn't but when it all comes down to me plainly. I'm really weak and ill minded.
weak because i have no voice, no thoughts, no appearance, no words, no confidence, pride or ant strong points. I'm just weak. Is it normal to be this way?

-- FANFICTION -- 

Hello Everybody , how are you? i just wanted to share some amazaing fanfiction storys if your intto that:) so please visite the links, review and do everything you can to show support :D so im going to give you the name of the story the summery and links. trufully if you want you can just glance at the story just to help out but you'll be missing out :P

1. Love game

Love game! reviews

Lucy is sent to summer class on a island.As soon as she set foot on the island she gets ambushed by the creepy, pedophile capitan but is saved by a masked man who dresses her up as a male student.What will she do when she finds out that there's a rule?

Fairy Tail - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 15,336 - Reviews: 17 - Updated: 6/29/2012 - Published: 3/12/2012 -Lucy H. & Natsu D. - Complete

2. Love lust

Love lust reviews

Maka has been in love with soul for years then one day she comes home and finds him kissing blair.what will she think?

Soul Eater - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 9,926 - Reviews: 18 - Updated: 3/7/2012 - Published: 2/21/2012 -Maka A. - Complete

3. Preluded feelings

Preluded Feelings reviews

Sunako the wall flower of darkness who hates everything bright but there is only one thing that she hates more, is one word that made her never want to love again. And it doesn't help that she starts to feel weird around Kyouhei and a monster wants her.

Wallflower - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,260 - Reviews: 16 - Updated: 11/26/2012 - Published: 5/8/2012 - Sunako N. & Kyouhei T.

4.Anything For You

Anything For You reviews

Chihiro would do anything to remember a certain turquoise haired boy...Even playing into the hands of evil. But what if it's all for nothing and he doesn't even remember a single thing about her? that is only half of the madness that's about to unfold in this mystical world...

Spirited Away - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,138 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 6/9/2013 - Published: 2/20/2013 - Chihiro O. & Kohaku N.

5.Only one shot

Only One Shot

Liz just fot rejected by the guy she was crushing on for years. but one day she meets a mysterious guy with beautiful yellow eyes who randomly says he wants her. What will she do when she's caught between a death-ly love triangle?

Soul Eater - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,429 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 3-20-12 - Elizabeth T./Liz & Death The Kid - Complete

 

6.Snowflake In the Sand

Snowflake In The Sand reviews

Prologue: I remember like it was yesterday. The bloodshed, the tainted thoughts and visions of gore as well as slaughter. And before I even realized I had killed them with my own two hands. Then there was a beautiful prince who shared one of my only names, Murderer.

Soul Eater - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,197 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 6/23/2013 - Published: 6/23/2013 - Maka A. & Soul Eater

PLEASE READ AND MAKE REVIEWS. IT WOULD MAKE ME SOOOOOOO HAPPY  :D
HERES THE LINK. THANK YOU

 http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2630200/Haruyuki19

(just click the story you want to see on this page by the name, ty)

PrObLeMs

Sometimes....I catch myself pondering about life's mysteries for hours on end. Like as if i was obsessed with these small issues that made their way into my head to seem larger than they are. I ponder them as if I cant except them. So i have to think about it over and over until I'm able to process it (i guess.). Or maybe I think that if i think about it so much the issue will just evaporate like boiled water on it's own, but knowing life (:O )  how totally predictable (*sarcasm) that is close to impossible.

6 to life (You are as dead to me as i am to you)

Five years of waiting, thinking that it was all fated,

This was the 6th so how could I've missed,

I never learn,

Now I want all those memories to burn,

5 years of waiting,

6 comes without failing,

Your mind is out of this world,

But yet you still give flowers to other girls,

Except me...

I'm something you cant see,

But you even refused to set me free,

And I cant breath,

When you break my heart of steal,

You don't feel,

Because I'm nothing to you,

I was such a fool,

Now I'm old and grey, as God threatens to take me away,

What was the delay?, 

You just stand there with nothing to say,

but I do,

"You're 6 years too late"

16 years of waiting, memories of you can never be faded,

I just can't make it,

I moved on...

-Animexox  :)

Under this big blue sky 

Under this big blue sky we all have secrets....

What if I had a secret,
But I couldn't tell,
A secret that only I know well,

It burns deep within my soul,
Casts fire to the very core,
You don't know what I got in store,
Whisperers of friends, wanting more...

Well I got a secret,
But I'll never tell,
Only one secret that I know very well.

                                         -Animexox19